How to Re-gain Your Focus!

Ever have one of those days! I literally woke up in a “F*** it mood!” (Hence why it’s 9 a.m on a Sunday and I’m still in bed🤨) Waffles smothered in whip cream and strawberries with a side of bacon & a mimosa sounds a lot better than boiled eggs, plain oatmeal & plain yogurt no matter how I try to spruce it up with my blueberries!

But as I pull up my SkipTheDishes app I see the wallpaper pic of myself with my boys. It is a reminder of what’s at stake if I don’t get my health under control. So, I’m going to finish my tea, restart the kettle and get back to staying on track! Here are some other quick tips to help if you ever find yourself less than motivated to continue to make healthy choices!

1. Forgive yourself! Keep your expectations realistic. Life happens, you can’t be perfect 100% of the time. Staying healthy is a lifelong journey!

2. Focus on the reason why you want a healthy lifestyle. Think about your end goal. Visualize what that will look and feel like!

3. Go for a walk! Activity will help with managing your stress, fighting boredom and is a healthy distraction.

4. Variety! Try to pre-plan and mix up your meals to avoid the monotony of eating the same things. Balance and moderation are keys to staying on track.

5. Get Support! Sometimes making lifestyle change is challenging so it always helps to have that little extra lift or push to make things more enjoyable and successful. Find a partner to challenge & cheer each other on.

Happy Sunday Funday!

Enjoy today! 💕

Did someone mention drinks on the patio?

Speaking of summer and tomatoes one of the favourite drinks of Canadians is a classic Caesar(in a week it’s actually National Caesar day) What’s great about this is that an 8 ounce glass is a fun way to get two servings of vegetables in! Throw in a couple celery stocks for garnish and take care of a third! And it’s also socially acceptable to have this at any time of day! 😂

Stick to low sodium ingredients when possible. Vodka is also optional! But if you’re watching your waist line keep in mind the cons of alcohol when losing weight!

Please excuse me, after writing this I’m going to have to go enjoy this out of my deck now! Have a great afternoon/evening! 💕

-8 ounces of Clamato juice or low sodium V-8 juice (jar not can for best results)

-2 dashes of low- sodium Worcestershire sauce

-1 dash of Tabasco (or more depending how spicy you’d like)

-celery sticks

-celery salt- optional (I know I said low sodium but what’s a Caesar without this!)

-a lime (cut one half & the other half make 2 wedges)

-black pepper

Some recipes will say shake up all ingredients with ice in a cocktail shaker then pour but I actually prefer the ingredients layered.

-Rub the edge of a glass with a lime wedge and dip the rim in celery salt and set aside

-Fill your glass with ice, add Clamato or V8 juice, add squeezed juice of half a lime, then Worcestershire, then Tabasco, pepper it up to preferred taste. Garnish with remaining lime wedge and Add celery stocks

-Enjoy

Tip: get creative with different vegetable garnishes & olives(healthy fat)

What are some of your favourites??

Let’s Get Take-out!

Happy Friday! For many, weekend’s tend to mean dining out or take out!

For the most part dining out is more about the people you’re with and the experience than the actual food.

(Pre/post lockdown of course)

Here are some tips to help with healthy choices.

1- Pre-plan! I find this the biggest help! Thanks to the internet you’re able to go online and check out menus prior to the day your plans are. Choose something you can build your choices for the rest of the days meals with.

2- Order sparkling water in a wine glass with lots of lemons & limes. Sometimes chatting with company, mindless drinking & eating happens so it definitely tricks your brain holding a wine glass instead of one of those boring regular water glasses.

3- Stick to protein & vegetables and 1 high calorie carbohydrate such as either the cocktail, bread, potato or dessert but not all four. And don’t be afraid to order a lean cut of steak with a side of vegetables. Sometimes those meals can have the lowest fat and calories on the menu.

4-Ask for a to go container at the time you place your order so when your meal arrives to the table you take half of it and immediately put it away to avoid that mindless eating.

5- Don’t forget to drink extra water that day and the next not just because it’ll keep you full but also to help with the extra sodium that tends to be in restaurant food.

6-Most importantly!! Give yourself a break & don’t stress about your meal. Enjoy each bite & each conversation! Life is strange these days so you never know when you’ll get a chance to savour these moments. Start fresh your next meal! 💕🍴🍛😋

Broken

So, this happened at 630 am. The perfect start to my day. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. At that moment, I sit there on the floor, legs crossed amongst the mess feeling a lot like that broken bottle. The amount of red hot sauce that had spread to reach more corners of the kitchen floor then what possibly was left in the bottle and that shattered glass seemed to be a perfect symbol.

I had two choices. Number one, I could do nothing but sit there amongst the mess I made wallowing in the misery, focusing on how long it will take to clean up, how late the start of my day would be or how I might even cut myself. Of course, also, what could have been with all the uses of the hot sauce that will never happen now.

Or choice number two, take a deep breath, stand up, grab some paper towels & a mop. Stop wasting time and clean my mess up!! Start fresh and move on!

Oh, and next time don’t place glass bottles so precariously on a shelf!

The Day The World Will Never Forget #911

To my civilian friends who say “I will never forget” that day…
It was a different kind of memory for those of us who lived on military bases with our families working that day. While folding laundry, talking to another military wife friend on the phone who lived in Ottawa being complacent about the security of our lives we turned the tv on. We both went silent and had to say goodbye while seeing the horror because we knew what that meant for our serving friends and their families. All kinds of things were happening at once I’ll never forget and too long to explain here but my fellow military wives “will never forget”.


My husband was a Sergeant in the Canadian Forces and was working that day. When he was finally able to call it was just to say… “We are on lock down” he couldn’t talk any further and didn’t know when he would be able to. My son Connor had just started his second week of first grade at an off base school 10 minutes away but at that moment it seemed like the other side of the world!!


I’ll never forget that day… Keeping a brave face in front of our children and spouses while being terrified of the immediate change in our way of life. This is something the wives mastered. Keeping s*** together when the s*** was coming apart and too often doing it alone.

When you say “I will never forget”— Please while remembering those souls stolen from the world that day also remember the families of the victims, the soldiers in our countries fighting the evil in our world and their families too! And Spread a little more kindness each day!

LIFE LINE

JUST WANTED TO SHARE THIS. I COPIED THIS FROM THE FACEBOOK GROUP “LESSONS LEARNED IN LIFE” I WILL TAKE NO WRITING CREDITS – JUST SHARING! 💕


This stopped me in my tracks!

Every minute someone leaves this world behind.

We are all in “the line” without knowing it.

We never know how many people are before us.

We can not move to the back of the line.

We can not step out of the line.

We can not avoid the line.

So while we wait in line –

Make moments count.

Make priorities.

Make the time.

Make your gifts known.

Make a nobody feel like a somebody.

Make your voice heard.

Make the small things big.

Make someone smile.

Make the change.

Make love.

Make up.

Make peace.

Make sure to tell your people they are loved.

Make sure to have no regrets.

Make sure you are ready.

At Last! The Secret of My Sister Revealed!!

img_9034Did you ever have an imaginary friend? What if your friend didn’t turn out to be imaginary at all? What if she turned out to be real? Well, mine did and this is the story.

When I was younger I wanted a sister so bad! I played with or talked about my imaginary friend as being my little sister. I was told by the adults that it was my imagination and when talking about it I was often hushed or dismissed.

Then it happened. I was in my mid-twenties when my mother came to me and confirmed what I always thought was imaginary or false memories. I did indeed have a sister and she was given up for adoption.

The story starts in the late sixties. The facts in the beginning were told to me by my mother who is sadly passed on now. She didn’t have an easy life and this was a particular difficult time for her. She was a very young mother of two whose husband (my father) was a marine deployed to Vietnam. While my father was overseas he went missing. My mother comes from a large family and instead of staying alone waiting for his return in another country she decided to come back to Canada during this time. Now, to protect the privacy of other’s involved in this part of the story I will save the details of how she became pregnant. She did make the difficult choice to put the baby up for adoption. My sister was adopted by a local family and had a happy life.

After my mother told me her story I couldn’t help but always have her on my mind. I thought about her quite a lot-Did she look like me, what was she like, was she happy, did our paths ever cross? In my early thirties while pregnant with my second son the urge to find out took over my thoughts daily and access to the internet became a common thing in most people’s households. Without my mother’s knowledge I started looking on adoption boards and sites with any stories of people looking for their birth families that had information similar to mine. I did decide to make a search post on one of these boards with the limited information I had. One night my mother called me saying she saw my post. I quickly pointed out that obviously she was interested in finding her too. With her permission and armed with more information I contacted Family and Children Services.

I don’t know how they do things now but back then this is how things were done. I submitted my name and info to a social worker who would input it into a database.  If you do match up you exchanged letters with non-identifying information. When the social worker received a release of personal information then what followed is an exchange of emails and phone calls before a meeting can take place. The social worker was very blunt and made a point of letting me know it could take years if ever a match would happen. It was dependent on whether or not my sister had her information in the database as well. Well, three days later she called to say there was a match!

I was so excited to write my letter but more so to receive hers. In it, she mentioned she was an RN. I’m not the most patient person and since my sister-in-law is also a nurse I thought maybe something may ring a bell with her if I read the letter to her. It turns out my sister-in-law said she worked with someone who fit the information in her letter. I called the social worker to ask her if the name I had was hers and she said she couldn’t confirm it yet because she hadn’t received the release of info forms. I read between the lines and knew it was indeed my sister. A few moments later it was confirmed. My sister-in-law worked with my sister all along. It turned out there were several other “six degrees of separation” moments like this. Needless to say we basically disregarded the standard protocol and went straight to the reunion! This was the Spring of 2000.

At first it was a bit of a challenge for us to start to get to know each other. Since we lived far apart initially it was a long distance relationship for a while with some awkward visits. It’s taken a few years to get comfortable and grow our relationship. Although we were robbed of many memories sisters share of growing up together we are making them now! I look forward to the many more good times and memories we will have in the future! Real ones-not imaginary!!

 

 

 

Warning- Sensitive Truths Divulged!

I’ve actually been writing as long as I can remember and I saved most things I wrote. It sounds contradictory but even though I share a lot of my life on various social media platforms I am a private person. I will try to keep this brief. The below pic is a letter I wrote in 11th grade before my third and last failed suicide attempt. Only a few people know about this. I’m writing this blog today in hopes that it saves at least one person who reads this!

We’ve seen this week in the news strong, beautiful people with everything going for them take their lives. I’ve seen people react with shock and also sometimes with negative comments. Why would people with seemingly perfect lives who have all available resources to get help do this? You won’t understand unless you’ve been in their shoes. I have. What I can tell you is what people show you about themselves is only what they choose to show you. All of it is a mask, a facade, a character they cling to make it through the day.

The people in your life view you as strong. Able to survive the worse life can throw at you because to them it seems you have. You seem this way while feeling empty inside except for pain. It’s hard to explain and I’ll try my best but the pain is not just relentless and torturous in your mind but is also actual physical pain in your stomach, chest and throat. A heavy, crushing, suffocating ache. It’s as if you’re outside of yourself watching life happen to someone else. The torment is exhausting. It’s all you can do to get out of bed in the morning. But you do. You get up and get through each day until you can’t anymore. And that’s when you make that final choice.

Luckily, for me, this was another thing I was not good at.  I was young and didn’t really know what I was doing. That’s why my attempts failed. The last one in particular had me feeling even worse because I felt couldn’t even succeed at ending it! When I knew the house would be empty one night I took a bunch of sleeping pills and filled the bathtub up and got in. After I drifted off my toes linked up on the chain of the stopper and nudged it out enough that all the water eventually drained out. Hours later I woke up freezing, sick to my stomach with a pounding head ache. Something or some divine being was always making sure I was not successful. And with this crushing realization I knew that this was my life and I had to find a way to deal with the pain.  I know now of course, how fortunate I was.

Later the only time I mentioned this again to my mother was in a principal’s office while at a meeting to determine whether they’d allow me to switch high schools. I basically and as a matter-of-fact stated unemotionally “I can’t take it anymore, If I stay here I will kill myself”. And with that I started at a new school not knowing anyone there. And this was pivotal for me. Within the first few days I met a girl who would become a very important person in my life. I credit her for saving mine. That’s really all it took. One person reaching out to me, handing me that life line that started me on my journey of healing. It didn’t happen overnight. The pain manifested itself in different ways over the years with an eating disorder, drinking and some dabbling with drugs. Also, to be honest, sometimes even now my mind and voice will get those moments again but with wisdom and life experience I’ve been able to conquer that voice.

All these years later as I’m here writing this blog I’m listening to the beautiful sounds of my boys, the barking of my dog at the birds chirping on my window sill, feeling the cool rush of air from my vents and enjoying this warm sip of tea! It may not be perfect but I embrace every moment of life now and know how lucky I am!

We really don’t know what some people are going through. I know we all get busy with our own lives but Please every once in a while check up on your strong friends and family.

And if you’re reading this and are in pain, use me as an example. Please reach out to someone. It gets better. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. I promise you!

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